Hello, a lawyer friend of mine recently posted this link on his Facebook page and I too am curious to hear what people's views are on this. "It never did me any harm" replies may or may not be correct in some or even many cases but does that still apply now? Is a degree of parental discretion for discipline purposes when required desirable? Should it be regarded as the same as assault?
As always with our blog, all comments are valid, welcomed and no judgements made. Let me know what you think about this issue.
Another one I struggle to make my mind up about.
ReplyDeleteIn an ideal world I'd reply that it should be 100% illegal to strike your child. After all, we would never get away with, let along contemplate, hitting anyone else in any scenario. For example, if my husband and I disagree it wouldn't be acceptable for him to strike me or I him. Likewise I doubt you (Mark) would hit me for talking in class or not obeying 'the rules' so why then is it acceptable to hit our children when they don't do as we expect.
That said I am a parent and I say, shamefully, I have smacked my sons bottom a couple times. I never imagined I would do so. I love my children more than anyone else so I can't understand why i have resorted to doing so. I chastise myself for having done so and always hope I won't do so again however most people with a challenging 'threenager' will say how difficult it can be to manage their behaviour and sometimes people may resort to light (hopefully light!) smacking in extreme circumstances. In my case it was when my child was harming his younger sister and all other attempts stop him had failed.
Do I think I should be criminalised for what I did, no I don't. I am ashamed of myself, I feel incredible guilt and I know smacking is counter productive. All I've actually done is teach my son that he can't hit but I can because I'm bigger than him so really I have to undo the damage my smacking has done.
Anyone who knows me will know I advocate for children's rights and I completely condone my own actions however I don't think smacking qualifies as abuse/neglect in every case etc.
So long story short I disagree with smacking yet I have done so myself, to my great shame. Am I a criminal, I don't think so. I'm just a harrassed, stressed out mum dealing with the challenges of parenting.
Children absolutely need protection from abuse but to criminalise every case of a smacked hand or bum feels too extreme to me.
It’s intresting that Scotland are taking this step themselves rather than a UK approach. It’s a tough one to judge, I understand why parents smack children but I feel we have an issue where we don’t see what goes on behind closed doors similar to any type of abuse. If a light smack doesn’t work and it gets harder abuse is inevitable.
ReplyDeleteWho defines what a light smack is?
That said there are plenty of good parents who smack their children appropriately and it works.
I was smacked as a child, it does touch a nerve with me that makes me think I wouldn’t use it personally to discipline a child - I don’t have any yet so only time will tell.
I completely agree with Rachel's point about the risks of smacks becoming harder and then crossing the line to full on abuse. It's a horrible thought but conceivable it could happen.
DeleteBy the same token i think care needs to be taken about how parents are punished if they are deemed guilty of illegally smacking their child.
Ultimately the law is to protect the rights of the child, which are paramount, however if a parent was for example jailed for the offence is that more or less harmful to the child than being smacked?
I would suggest that it could harm a child significantly more to be forcibly separated from a generally loving parent who chooses mild physical punishment as a form of discipline. Rachel rightly pointed out however that it's open, who would then decide what level is acceptable vs what is not (which is actually what is already in place prior to this law change)?
In my own experience it is an absolutely useless form of discipline anyway. Everyone gets upset and the behaviour doesn't actually change!
Hey ladies! -and mark �� I completely agree with what you are saying however is banning smacking really going to stop abuse? I don't think so - I was brought up with my parents literally holding up their hand and the thought of a snack made me behave and calm down- I've never had to smack my son but I do believe if he was acting in an outrageous disrespectful way the there is nothing wrong with a smack! -kids now a days get away with sooo much because of things like the smacking ban - they push the boundaries and it's scary to think that there is no ways or means to kerb bad and unacceptable behaviour!! - for the record I actually thought smacking was already banned In this country so it will be interesting to see the outcome!
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the blog Kirsty and thank you for your words. We can see some very insightful feedback on this particular story already, which can be a difficult subject to comment on. Hopefully we will read some more from other members of the class next week. Cheers, Mark
ReplyDeleteI’m with Laura , massive advocate for childrens rights . Although I do think children’s rights have gone too far and a lot of parental responsibility has been taken out of the parents hands recently . I was smacked as a child , I dont view what my parents done as abuse I view it as I was simply being a brat and my mum put me back in my place firmly , I also believe it taught me a few lessons I wouldn’t have otherwise learnt. Like to behave or I’d get a sore bum. I don’t smack my children but they can be brats , the reason I don’t smack is not because I view it as wrong , but because of the issues it would cause, the school everyone would be involved now and it’s changed times. I’m being honest and some kids do need a right good smacked bum !! In my opinion !
ReplyDeleteTotally agree! Where will it end! Some children hold all the power because they know there are no consequences! Scary world!!!
ReplyDeletebut where do we draw the line?
ReplyDeletethe difference between a gentle smack and the kid going to school all shades of blue? but saying to a kid its not okay to hit anyone but saying its okay for your parent to smack you!
I'm a huge believer in childs rights and shouldn't be treated like second class citizens.
I got smacked for being a brat. I was not black and blue and I don’t view it as wrong either I actually know as an adult why I was smacked on the bum as a kid. I am a massive advocate and campaigner against child cruelty and domestic violence and that’s where the authorities work comes in. Vulnerable children should be protected in society by the authorities, if a child is turning up black and blue then it’s the system that’s failing them as no parent should ever beat their child. The fact there are monsters who beat there children makes my blood boil! It shouldn’t mean the entirety of parents in the UK are unable to effectively discipline a misbehaving child. The future generation will end up being a generation of over privileged brats who got away with everything because parents weren’t allowed to put them in their place.
ReplyDelete